A Lock Of Beethoven's Hair

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We sequenced Beethoven's genetic code for some reason

Seemingly because he asked nicely?

So before he died, Beethoven was like "ayo, have my doctor rip my body up after I'm dead so they can figure out what the hell made me go deaf and have digestive issues."

Well that didn't work, but now hundreds of years later, due to some preserved Beethoven hair, we've sequenced his genome to get a better look. And guess what?

Still no idea.

But he did have hepatitis B, and apparently someone in his genetic line had an extramarital affair which produced offspring. So there ya go. Case closed.

Soulja Boy, Lindsay Lohan and others hit with charges from  crypto bullshit (lol)

Pretty cut and dry actually. A bundle of affordable-enough celebrities were paid to shill a couple of crypto tokens. They did not disclose that they were paid to shill said crypto tokens. It's a tale as old as time. Or, well, a tale as old as the recently crypto boom in the late 2010's.

Soulja Boy, Lindsay Lohan, Jake Paul, Austin Mahone, Kendra Lust, Lil Yachty, Ni-Yo and Akon have all been charged by the SEC for their participation in the scheme.

Weird how much crime there is in crypto. Almost like a deregulated speculative asset market that is intentionally obscure is a BAD IDEA.

Oh and speaking of crypto, Coinbase has been alerted that they may be facing charges as well.

Counter Strike 2 is a thing

Valve has announced Counter Strike 2, which will essentially be an in-place generational upgrade for the existing Counter Strike: Global Offensive. Like literally, its a free upgrade and all existing weapon skins will transfer over.

It looks like a pretty sweet upgrade, with a lot of improvements to lighting and map design, as well as some neat stuff like in-world volumetric smoke simulation to allow for more creativity with smoke grenade use.

Also, VAC bans will carry over, so if you got banned in CS:GO, you're still banned in CS2. Maybe cut out the aimbot and get good instead?

A hospital in Idaho is gonna stop delivering babies because its too controversial

A hospital in the (supposed) state of Idaho is no longer delivering babies for the residents in its rural community. Residents will instead need to travel to another hospital about 45 miles away if they feel like giving birth.

The hospital has cited the current political and legal landscape in Idaho as the main reason for the stoppage of delivering babies. Doctors cannot reasonably perform industry-standard medical care for pregnant patients without thread of legal retaliation.

In case you're wondering, I checked my thesaurus, and that is fucked.

So anyway, elected officials who pass legislation banning abortion should probably have all of their medical records made public, given that they seem to have no problem with public intervention of private medical decisions.

Trump still not arrested (so far?)

Shocked, I say. Trump posted to TRUTH SOCIAL about how he was going to be arrested this past Tuesday. And then that didn't happen. His base did, however, chip in $1.5 Million in donations after his post. And I mean like, it's their money. If they wanna donate it to a well documented con man who also often boasts about how rich he is anyway, idk, that's their right. It's stupid as all hell, but they're allowed to do that.

Doesn't mean we can't laugh at it.

lol

More Stuff

• Biden's approval rating is near the lowest its been so far
• The charges against Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland have been dropped due to a lack of evidence to prove beyond reasonable doubt
• ChatGPT can now have plugins to let it do stuff like browse the web for you
• Block, Jack Dorsey's fintech company formerly known as Square, has been hit with allegations of allowing fraud to run rampant on the platform
• Iowa's governor has signed a gender-affirming care ban and a "bathroom bill" for students because she has a rotten, hate-filled heart and if her religion is correct, she will be burning in her concept of hell for eternity
• Job-finding company Indeed is laying off 2,200 employees in a joke that writes itself