Biden Announces Election Loss Any% Run

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Biden really doesn't want to be re-elected, sees banning TikTok as a great strategy

Joe Biden—who very obviously does not want to be re-elected—has chosen a bold new strategy. After taking the incredible step of approving a massive oil project after saying he wouldn't do that, he has pivoted to ensuring that the youth vote does not turn out for him by threatening to ban TikTok; a move that Trump did as well in a similar bid to secure the title of most out-of-touch POTUS in history.

There has been a ton of saber-rattling going on against China right now, and it's the perfect time to strike because Meta has been pushing quite hard to oust TikTok. ZUCC, famously not a fan of having to actually compete for market share, would be plenty happy if TikTok were to be banned. Meanwhile, the 100,000,000 Americans who use the app to communicate, share and learn will just have to deal with it, because that's just how the free market works 🇺🇸

I don't think its likely that TikTok will evaporate overnight from the US. I do think its likely that TikTok will have to look pretty dang different for this rhetoric to die down. Unfortunately, this rhetoric seems to only be among those who don't use TikTok.

Anyway. Follow me on YouTube, I guess.

Steam Spring sale is happening

I am not sponsored, and I don't like shilling products. Well. I'd shill the right product. Sponsor me. BUT ANYWAY. The Valve Steam Deck is on sale right now, which is wack because it is already the best deal on a "gaming computer" you will find out there. The sale ain't massive: just 10% off. But the amount of punch this thing packs for the price is absurd.

Like, ray-tracing enabled on Doom Eternal as you kill demons on the toilet. I don't know how much more I can sell you on something than that.

Neat bonus tidbit: they just launched a feature which lets you "download" games to your Steam Deck from another computer on your local network, greatly reducing the time it takes to download games to take on the go.

There's a bunch of other sales on Steam right now for a bunch of game so if you're a GAMER go check that out.

Your car's warranty is about to expire

The FCC is ordering phone companies to block scam texts. Well, sorta. It's not particularly comprehensive requirements, but they're going to require companies to block texts from inactive numbers and numbers known to not be associated with texting in the first place.

The FCC isn't doing much else these days, being stuck in partisan limbo with no deciding vote. There was supposed to be another person on the board representing the party that is supposedly in power, but the candidate withdrew her nomination due to opposition from republicans and Joe Manchin.

But I digress. Sure, your phone bill is horrendously overinflated. But at least we don't have that pesky net neutrality anymore.

Michigan enshrines LGBTQ+ rights as civil rights

Michigan has expanded their civil rights laws to include anti-discrimination protection against gender expression, sexual orientation and the like. Governor Whitmer, who was the target of a (foiled) attempted kidnapping and assassination from fascists, says that it is "a new day in Michigan" and that this is "a long time coming".

This is of course in stark contrast to what some other states have been doing, and is a breath of fresh air to see the legal system actually working to protect citizens rather than criminalize their existence. While this remains the bare minimum, it should be a reminder that we shouldn't settle for "not actively harmful" but instead should demand supportive action.

Never–I repeat–NEVER let the bastards get you down.

Six week abortion ban likely to take hold in Florida

RUNNING LOW ON SARCASTIC AND JADED JOKES Y'ALL BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST.

Florida, which is a state with people living there, is likely to ban abortions after six weeks of pregnancy. This is because the state is run by a super majority of fascistic ghouls who think that their religion should determine how you live, rather than you and your doctor.

DeSantis, arguably Head Ghoul, has previously signed a 15 week abortion ban. I had the pleasure of sitting down with him to get a quote on this upcoming new legislation: "Yeah, I mean six weeks is a start, but what I really wanted was to personally beat the women in this country with my own hands so that I could finally reach climax."

We'll see how it goes for him on the campaign trail as 2024 ramps up.

Also of course no I didn't actually get a quote, believable as it may have been.

France is about to be lit, literally

Despite protests and public outcry, French President Macron has unilaterally pushed through their legislation to raise the retirement age, invoking some system that lets him basically bypass a vote.

There were already protests simply at the possibility of this vote going through. Now there wasn't even a vote, instead an authority figure made a decision to bypass public opinion and implement an adverse effect on the lives of working people.

We should look at some history books and see what the French do in this kind of situation.

More Stuff

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• A Russian fighter jet intercepted a US drone
• Remember Google Glass? Turns out it was still being sold for corporate usage, but that is also being killed now
• The CEO of Twitch is stepping down to vibe
• DreamWorks has open-sourced their rendering software