News

I Am The New Tucker Carlson

The cop who killed Breonna Taylor has a new gig! Also, some guys named Tucker Lemon and Don Carlson lost their jobs I think, your AI friend would like a word with you, Sonic has a new union and more.

Endeavorance

Apr 26, 2023 — 4 min read

Programming note: Hello, dear reader! This is just a quick update to say that I will be taking next week (May 1st through 5th) off from Stuff Keeps Happening, and will be back the following Monday, May 8th. There will still be a Friday SKH this week.

Breonna Taylor's killer has a new gig (as a cop, still)

I know it can be hard to keep track of the atrocities and murders committed daily by American police officers, but Breonna Taylor may be a name you recognize: she was the woman who was killed by a cop while she was asleep at night in her own home.

Well, the cop who pulled the trigger on the gun that fired the bullet that ended the life of Breonna Taylor has a new job! He was re-hired as a cop, just in a different town. Because why not!

This is your casual Wednesday reminder that all cops are, indeed, bastards.

Now just to clarify: sometimes people get confused when I say that. They want to check if I meant to qualify that statement or narrow it down, or that it is just a generalization. But I didn't say "a notable quantity of cops are bastards." All of them. 100%. Yes, even that one. Yes, that one too. All cops are class traitors.

Cops are people who have opted to spend their life in a position of enforcing state violence on citizens, with the allowance to kill you while you sleep in your home and then go on to get another job. While you are dead.

Wake me up when cops work to stabilize the unstable and repair the broken, rather than drive up violence and demand more funding for more armored vehicles to use against us.

Some news hosts are out, I guess?

You've probably already heard, but Tucker Carlson is out at Fox on the same day that Don Lemon was kicked out at CNN.

Tucker Carlson is likely out at Fox due to the fact that they just settled their lawsuits with Dominion Voting Systems for nearly $800 million while Tucker was among the main promoters of the conspiracy theories. I didn't think they'd dump their Head Boy like that, but they sure just kinda kicked him out. Somehow I feel like he's gonna be okay though. But I would like to throw my hat in the ring for "new Head Boy at Fox News" because if they need someone to be paid millions of dollars while saying literal nonsense and looking confused into a camera, I AM YOUR GUY.

Don Lemon, on the other hand, was seemingly let go for a pretty gross reason of his own. Don Lime referred to Nikki Haley (a real person, sources tell me) as "past her prime", referring specifically to her age. He went on to clarify that women are "in their prime at 20, 30, maybe 40."

My grandmother who went dogsledding would beg to differ, Don Sprite.

(And like for real, that's a super gross thing to say dude what the hell?)

YOU WILL HAVE AN AI FRIEND AND YOU WILL LIKE IT

Snap(chat) has rolled out an AI chatbot friend to everyone who uses their app, pinned as the top conversation in your messages at all times, and non-dismissable. That's cool and all, except its not actually cool and all because a bunch of people are like "um, what the hell? I don't want this".

While its likely to get iterated on to allow for better customization options and whatnot, Snap's app store ratings are currently tanking as people are kinda mad that they now just have this AI chatbot thing front-and-center and they can't do anything to get rid of it.

This is yet anther simple reminder: all of these big tech companies rolling out chatbot stuff right now are literally just using the same tech that runs ChatGPT. Literally running on the same servers even, just rebranded and sold as another new AI feature. Do not be fooled: this is the tech industry's current gold rush. A useful one in some cases? Sure. But everyone is playing a game of "where can we cram this thing to improve our stock prices?"

Sega of America workers kick off a union effort

Okay so literally right after a TikTok of Sonic explaining how to unionize your workplace goes viral, workers at the Sega of America Irvine offices have started a push to unionize.

Game studios have been trickling in towards the unionization wave going on right now, which is super dope because game studios are notoriously terrible to their employees.

Fun fact: I was planning to go into game development as my career originally, but opted to instead go into INTERNET STUFF because of the horror stories from the gaming industry.

(I still like making games in my free time though!)

Anyway, 144 employees across all sorts of business sectors are banding together to demand fair wages and hours, which does not seem like a huge ask. Plus, they worked out a great name: Allied Employees Guild Improving Sega, or AEGIS.