The Prophetic Sausage Surge

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More than Just the Boar's Head

After a U.S. nationwide Listeria outbreak sparked from 7 million pounds of recalled meat from producer Boar's Head, the USDA began investigating the company's Virginia location, finding that yes—the meat packing facility is as fucked up as we've come to expect a meat packing facility in the US would be.

Equipment operating in unclean and unsafe conditions. Mold and leaks. Puddles of blood (from… hopefully the meat?). "Meat buildup" on the walls of rooms festering with flies and gnats. Y'know: the grossest shit imaginable. In total the USDA found 69 (nice) violations this year alone.

At time of writing, 9 people have died from the outbreak.

While the processing plant in question has been shut down, no punitive action has been taken by the USDA. The Boar's Head Head Boar (?) stated that they won't be reopening the plant until they meet regulatory standards, which is confusing because of the way the plant was open without meeting regulatory standards.

Maybe everyone in the entire facility and up the executive chain were just taking a lil' nap and didn't notice.

Feds Demand a Salty Runback with Trump

U.S. special counsel Jack Smith is back with a new indictment against Trump after the Supreme Court previously ruled that the President of the United States has "absolute immunity in official acts," stating that Trump's attempts to overturn the 2020 election were official acts and thus immune from legal prosecution.

Fuckin' wild. We are alive to see the Supreme Court of the United States of America vote along party lines to assert that the POTUS is literally above the law. Nixon would like a word.

Anyway, despite the ruling, Smith has filed a new, narrowed indictment against Trump in the case about Trump's attempt to overturn the election. The indictment strips out some of the stuff that would fall into the newly ruled "official acts immunity" scope, instead focusing on his direct actions with conspirators in other states.

Remember that whole thing about sending fake electors? Some states wanted to send a Trump-aligned slate of electors to claim that Trump won states where he actually lost. That's more of the main focus of this case now, rather than the whole "enlist the Justice Department in an attempt to usurp an election" thing.

Will this do anything at all? I dunno—I mean the man has already been found guilty of dozens of felonies and that did essentially nothing.

This is one of those rare occasions where I even bother to write about Trump. I take no joy in talking about this man, as we've all seen enough of him for ten lifetimes over. But in this era of "absolute immunity" and massively shifting goalposts, this is another in a long line of events that make me just wanna say "let me know when he's in jail or dead."

And don't worry: I will indeed let you know.

Dungeons & Dragons & DLC

Disclaimer: I'm about to rant about Dungeons & Dragons' obnoxious business tactics. I am building a tabletop role-playing game myself and am specifically aiming to do the opposite of what's going on at WOTC / Hasbro with D&D, so this is kinda self-serving.

Wizards of the Coast—a subsidiary of Hasbro—makes Dungeons & Dragons: that little indie game where people throw lightning bolts at each other.

Okay, obviously Dungeons & Dragons is a gargantuan media empire at this point, between hugely successful podcasts like Critical Role and earthshaking game releases like Baldur's Gate 3. But the D&D community is increasingly growing tired of WOTC's marketing and sales antics, feeling like they're being taken advantage of after years of good faith towards the game and company.

First off, you should know there is a new D&D rulebook coming out. Not a new edition of the game, mind you, but a revision of the current game. That's kinda neat I guess, but they're charging a full game book's price for it, and while they keep saying you can use the old content just fine, their actions aren't quite showing that to be the case. Recently, it became clear that much of the original game content will not be available in character sheets on WOTC's own companion app (D&D Beyond), so if you have a character using the older abilities, get fucked I guess. Update: Wizards of the Coast has backtracked after massive public outcry and has stated that they will continue to support using the original 2014 versions of stuff in character sheets.

Now, they've announced they're basically going to septuple down in a Marvel Cinematic Universe-esque release structure of a bunch of new books, each with its very own price tag!

So where we're at now is basically the world's most popular tabletop role-playing game not releasing a new version, but saying "hey, everyone who is playing our game, here's seven new books to purchase to stay abreast of our game, and if you don't switch over, you're basically a second class citizen, despite it being the same game as before."

It's like if a video game released a DLC, but also that DLC was split into 7 DLCs, and you can keep playing the original game, but anyone who shells out for the DLC is going to be vastly overpowered by comparison. Oh wait, that happens all the goddamn time in video games.

Anyway, enjoy D&D however you want to enjoy D&D. It is by no means a thing you should abandon if you like it. Simultaneously, there's myriad wonderful (and sometimes free!) smaller RPG options out there which tailor themselves greatly to more specific niches. I recommend getting started by browsing indie TTRPGs on Itch!

FYI: Creator Resources

Did you know I keep a published collection of guides I've written to help people get started making digital media? If you're interested in streaming or content creation, check out my Creator Resources over on my website! Absolutely free. Links in the guides are affiliate links where available.

Heres the Weather

More Stuff

A recent survey found that over a quarter of 18-34-year-olds never answer phone calls. I cannot blame them, because think about it: a single number allows anyone to directly interrupt your day with a request for synchronous conversation by way of forcing your personal device to vibrate or ring. What?? Like for real: forget that you know what a phone call is for a sec and think about that in the context of modern day.

Australia is now the most recent country to enact a "right to disconnect" among their workers. If you're an Australian worker, you are legally protected when ignoring your work during off hours.

Officials in Texas are noting an uptick in consumers purchasing sausage. This is apparently associated with economic downturn, as people are reaching for cheaper foods. Classic sausage metrics.

Surprising absolutely nobody, there was a surge of COVID cases among attendees of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. I wonder if it was the lack of masking, or the tightly packed rooms full of people cheering and hugging. I guess we'll never know how people became sick during this still-ongoing pandemic.

The CEO of Telegram is facing charges around money laundering, CSAM, and aiding crimes. France is charging the CEO of the messaging app which has been a long-time home for pedophiles and crime rings. And furries, but they're chill.

Turns out you can just kinda "peel" the windows off of a Cybertruck to get inside. A video posted online shows a thief smashing a Cybertruck window, but when it didn't shatter, they just pulled it on it and got inside without much issue.

A deadly mosquito-borne illness has popped up for the first time in a decade in New Hampshire. EEE (Eastern Equine Encephalitis) took a life recently, sparking mosquito spraying efforts in the area and surrounding states. Massachussetts has even closed some public parks.

Israel has killed at least 10 Palestinians in a the West Bank as they conduct new "operations" in the occupied territory. Israel has threatened to storm hospitals in the region.

An employee of Wells Fargo was found dead in her cubicle 4 days after clocking in to the office. Somehow they didn't notice that whole time, but y'all better return to office.

Brazil has blocked Twitter after as Musk has continued to refuse to comply with local laws. A Brazilian judge who has been beefing with Musk passed the order, sparking a huge influx of new users to Bluesky. Musk is responding as you'd expect, kicking and screaming because a state official isn't capitulating to his every whim (which is of course how the free market works).

A rescued bald eagle in Missouri was having trouble flying, sparking concerns of injury or sickness. Turns out it just ate an entire raccoon and was literally too full to fly.