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Umbrella Corp is Real
The layoffs never end. Elon fired an engineer because they told him he annoys people. A reporter was arrested for reporting. Neuralink is mishandling pathogens and more.
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A slightly less happy place
Disney lays off 7,000. Nintendo showed off some games. Netflix is really doing it. The UK government cares deeply about Call of Duty.
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Here's our AI - Don't Trust It
Microsoft has a new AI but they say you shouldn't trust it. Mark Zuckerberg wants to get teens in his virtual world. Zoom laid of 1,300 people and BP is doing a "bad PR" any% speedrun
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The Bard's College
Google and Microsoft race. People really seem to hate electrical substations. Twitter's premium service is not doing numbers. Even AI Seinfeld got cancelled.
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Not talking about that stupid balloon
They found a very big, very old cave. Also, Elon found not guilty. Blizzard got a slap on the wrist. Everyone is doing their best ChatGPT impersonation and more.
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A whole lotta earnings
A groundhog didn't quite make it. Lots of $40 Billion (with a "B") and AI is gonna start writing intelligent marketing spam.
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We found it!
I mean, "we" didn't but they found that capsule in Australia. Also Google got rekt, Apex Mobile is gone and more.
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Someone stole a gorilla
Someone stole a cast iron gorilla statue. Also Elon is in a bad way with paying people, King of the Hill is coming back and more.
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A giant fucking boulder
A giant boulder strikes a house in Hawaii. TikTok and congress get frisky. The Fed is doing what they love.
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Heated seats for Tesla by way of fire
A Tesla catches fire outta nowhere. Memphis police unit disbanded. Also history gets older.
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Lots of COP STUFF
Cops are doing a lot of things but not a lot of it is good things. Chevron buys back a lot of stock because thats what cool cats do.
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YouTube University
Get college credits from YouTube. Also school admins ignored warnings, fast food companies spend money to not spend money, and more.